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Technology degrades social skills and takes the magic out meeting people

PictureNothing beats a spontaneous encounter
The world, as far as mankind is aware, has never been more connected; with the touch of a few keys here or a screen there, magical answers from the internet appear.  Add to this instant messaging, emails and texting and the realm appears to think and act upon the speed of any server at any given time.

The days of getting a map at the gas station or corner store are largely over because the efficiency of satellites, GPS and internet mapping programs has the information a few clicks away. Have a question about anything?  Type it in and related answers will appear.  In many ways it is a really amazing world people live in.  Devices that were not even considered as possible a mere few decades ago exist across the planet and it is all connected to an invisible network called the world-wide web.  Is there a downside to this?

Although communication can now be done routinely by people around the block or across the globe, the human element is often missing.  Take emails or texts for example, often what one types and sends is all too often misconstrued by the receiving party; in fact emails in particular can cause many issues because there is really no way to properly express oneself in this type of communique. Video conferencing type programs have been developed to bridge this gap, and although they are useful and can save costs (paying for only bandwidth as opposed to travel in business) they still miss the human element.  This type of communication allows the social expressions to be visible but still lacks the human experience because folks are still in different places; therefore individuals are missing the ambiance of an “in person” meeting. Unfortunately, these technologies appear to have led to a reduction of social skills not an increase in them.

When ideas are exchanged electronically there appears to be no barrier that exists if the person were physically there.  This can often result in fewer inhibitions in people that would likely talk and act differently if they were to meet face to face.  This is not always a bad thing, but although it appears people eventually become less shy, when and if they actually meet there are still obstructions between the parties.  In other words, despite the open conversation on the internet, the initial meeting is not a comfortable one between the parties because of the original artificial connection.

Many people frequent on-line dating sites as alternatives to social contact.  This type of meeting is usually after a profile match has been completed by the company and eventually a meeting place is agreed upon; sometimes arranged by the dating service.  If one stops to think about this for a moment is seems slightly warped.  In days of old it was always face to face contact, now it’s become acceptable to give one’s private information to a “middleman” and go from there.
Each one of these companies will have a database of information on which to select potential candidates for a match-up.  This in itself takes the human equation out of it, as the set up becomes non-natural and not spontaneous. In addition, revealing personal information and preferences becomes the business of the company who now owns these figures; giving information freely to any company is not a good idea.  The data mined and used for the match-ups can be sold, accessed illegally or hacked by individuals.  The people then become potential targets for corporate boards looking to sell merchandise, telemarketing or even possibly identity theft.  It does not matter how secure a company says there data is, there is always a way in because where there is a will there is a way.

A number of people will speak fondly of these dating sites because they don’t have to go to the bars or other similar locales to meet someone.  It’s true a bar is a place where generally there is a low vibration, but there are other ways to meet people without the use of technology. In general folks are losing the human component of socializing because of all these crutches; they are losing their nerve to get out of their comfort zone and approach someone they do not know. It’s easy to observe this behavior with the new generation when they eventually do end up in a social gathering as they become very uncomfortable.  This is a pity because social skills are required in life to be able to contribute to society and interact with one another.
When two people are attracted to each other there is a dynamic that is in the air that simply cannot be replaced by technology.  When one sees that special person, wherever they may be; there is an instant connection. This attraction usually gets the undivided attention of one or both of the parties and if there is a match a magnetizing force seems to overwhelm them; it’s like having an electric energetic pull towards a certain person, and this simply cannot be achieved over the internet.

This type of socializing is the way people used to meet and it usually leads to chatting with the person one is attracted to, or at the very least a memorable experience.  Social media removes this very important element and makes people base decisions on physical attractions, things people may have in common and so on. This is all fine and dandy, but what if the purpose of your life journey was to learn about different cultures, meet people one never thought possible or marry into a family that is from a different nation?  If one sticks to only what they know then their soul’s journey into the physical will not allow the person to expand their consciousness into higher levels of being.
When two people magically meet it’s usually at a random place and time.  Social media is all about keeping appointments, routines, and results in everything one does being tracked electronically.  To whom does this benefit?  While people are meeting online, powerful data collectors are watching the patterns and building a profile on each person; it truly is the furthest thing from a random attraction and love at first sight. 

Try leaving the social media support at home for a change and get out and encounter people in person instead.  Some great places to meet people are schools, colleges or universities.  Colleges in particular are grand as they concentrate on having smaller classes and have more face to face participation in the programs; therefore leading to more contact between people.  Universities tend to be more like a movie theater, where one shows up and listens to the lectures; this alone creates a void and makes the experience less than delightful.  And how many people have had their first crush at elementary school?  These experiences are something social media simply cannot replace, but as more people bury their head in the latest gadget, the opportunity to meet someone may pass them by.
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Meeting people in university can be difficult as the classes are very large; colleges on the other hand consist of hands on work and much smaller classes, thus allowing the opportunity to engage with people more openly.
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Grocery stores are filled with people that need to be there, because everyone has to eat; therefore chances are if one gets out of their comfort zone an opportunity to meet someone may exist.
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Have you ever noticed people sitting beside each other rarely talk anymore? It's because they are too busy using their iPod's or cell phones to talk to someone else. This is not social progress, and one often wonders why they bother sitting beside each other in the first place if their intentions are elsewhere.
Meeting people can be done in other places as well, such as shopping centers and grocery stores.  Grocery stores in particular are great because people appear to be more relaxed in this atmosphere. People can also join clubs such as soccer, tennis, volleyball and so on plus co-ed sports increase the chances of meeting the opposite sex if that is the preference.  Getting out and walking in your neighborhood is a good idea as well and don’t underestimate joining a volunteer activity either as many friendships are ignited there. The point is, there is a great big beautiful world out there and people are simply missing it because they are trying to stay too connected.

Getting the nerve up and approaching someone is like an adventure, you never know what you are going to get.  If one takes things too personally, it can take a while to recover if they are rejected; but eventually more experience will allow a better approach and the ability to see clear cut physical signals whether people are interested or not.
There is nothing wrong with the information age with all the gadgets, but keep in mind they are simply a tool to communicate with another person.  Why not try for the face to face approach?  You may be pleased you did because there is nothing like feeling the energy in the air when that special someone suddenly appears and somehow one is nudged to make their move and talk to them. This can result in a lifetime filled with wonderful memories that no social networking could possibly match. There is no substitute for the human experience, so get out there and make it so.
Related Articles: Information Technology and Logic adversely impacts Intuition
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Photos used under Creative Commons from Philip Ed, mathplourde, Meg Stewart, mikecogh